I had to tell my 13 year old niece that no one in the 8th grade cares. Everyone is worrying about themselves- how they look, what they smell like (sometimes), what they’re listening to, how their new shoes look, etc. Typical middle school worries.
I waxed her eyebrows and went little too wax crazy. However, she confessed to me that he was indeed worried that someone will say something about how her eyebrows turned out. I had to pep talk her and tell her that I promise no will say anything about her eyebrows (I’m sure no one will). No one will notice because in reality no body cares. Everyone is absorbed in themselves. Not in a mean selfish way, but in a realistic way.
But the best part was sharing my days when I was picked on for my eyebrows through my middle school and high school years. I gave her two embracing scenarios that left me traumatized. I was ashamed of my eyebrows but more ashamed that I actually cared about what people (especially 7th graders) were saying. So, I totally sympathized with her, and I think she did too. She felt more relaxed and confident. However, she is still somewhat chary about tomorrow.
Because I am a woman?
Is it my gender?
That makes you think you are more than me?
Or is it the thought you are just a male?
Do males in your society rule?
Did you forget women create life?
Has your society forgotten the meaning of women?
Do you have the right to then lessen me?
To strip me away from my rights…
Deny my requests…
Categorize me as “she’s just a girl”
Or as you may think; “she’s just a bitch”
It’s not the gender,
or my ability to over power you,
it is your insecurity of loosing.
Being defeated by a woman.
See, it is not that you are a man,
but a boy
Looking for a woman
Whom will make you
As I recall recently someone said “people don’t care who you are until strangers start talking about you”. It’s true. I keep envisioning my work out there in people’s hand. Maybe it’s on their iPad or Macs or better yet hard cover.
However, I hope by that time people aren’t too lazy to read because so far, majority of my acquaintances do not read. It scares me because if you don’t have the time to educate yourself then what do you have time for?
Maybe when strangers start talking about me they will interest in my works and read. I pray that I can achieve knowledge in the least complicated way. And I pray that I can give people motivation to want more. More of the unknown. So for now it’s a waiting game.
I went to Watch Hill beach recently. If you are unaware of the location of Watch Hill it is right in front of Taylor Swifts beach house in Rhode Island. I absolutely had no clue what I would find there prior to going. Actually, I thought nothing of it. As my friend Dillion and I were entering town, I started to notice that there were no colored people. This didn’t bother me more so because I am use to it. I grew up in a caucasian populated town. It kind of amazed me because there was not one color person in sight other than myself.
As we find parking near by the beach I “semi” blend in. I have a big, black and white beach hat. I also have big sun shades, aviators to be fancy. Other ladies who are walking around had the same thing on. As Dillion and I walked down the five minute path, which is adjacent to Taylor Swift’s driveway, it was all eyes on me. So it felt like.
Dillion and I picked out a spot towards the middle but more so near the exit. Instantly I felt uncomfortable even though I made Dillion laugh when I joked about “not one black folk”. I wanted the moist sand to completely eat me or the waves to drift me far away. I looked around and observed this place. I seen the horizon way over there and seen the ocean crashing against the shore near me. I also eavesdropped into plenty of conversations.
As I was walking towards the shore, there was a baby boy near the shore line who looked about 8 to 10 months. As I approach the shore I decide to sit. I make eye contact with the kid. He keeps his eyes on me with a serious face. The face a baby gives you before he’s about to cry. But he didn’t cry, just starred. I waved my hands with a big smile on me, but this kid was starstruck. I started to look around to avoid the blazing stare of this child. I noticed that he would only get distracted when his mom would speak to him. Otherwise she was in a conversation with the other adult next to her and his eyes glued on me. As I started to get more uncomfortable with the kid’s death stare I decided to go into the ocean.
As I got in the water I start to float around. I began to listen to people’s conversations. I usually make small talk with people. I am never quite the one to listen. But this time something in my head forced me to seal my lips and just listen. I recall the conversation of the older couple who were in the water. Turned out that they were the same people who sat next to me back where my towel was. They had no kids with them. It was just husband and wife enjoying themselves. They were commenting on how delicious the water felt. I looked at them trying to grab their attention to smile and agree with what they just said but they paid no mind. Then, they started to speak about the beauty of the day. I wanted to make a connection with them so badly but I couldn’t drive myself to speak. I wanted to break through the awkwardness that I had taken over me.
After my experience at Watch Hill, I feel somewhat different. I learned something yesterday that needed to be taught to me. Now I sit here and reminisce about a quote I heard somewhere-
“Start getting comfortable with being uncomfortable because it means you are growing”.
You have 84,500 seconds in a day, What are you doing with your time?
I acknowledge that time is precious and it cannot be stopped. This make me think that my dream, my destiny, should not be on a hold. I have to seize every day even when it looks hopeless.
My dream, which turned into a goal, is to become well known on wordpress. I want to show my readers what I have to offer. I will write and take you on a journey with me to where ever I go. What ever happens to me, happens to you. My readers and I will be One.
I indulge in details and comparison to other things in life. I read somewhere by Billy Collins how there is so many things we can compare to something else in all of the world. That is me.
So where should I start?
Scrolling down my blog post you’ll see mostly stories that I have created through a blog challenge prompt. Some stories come out of my personal journal which means they are true life. I would say that my days are like a movie.
Additionally, something personal, I enjoy writing in description. You will be see details matter in my writing.
Hope you like my writing as much as I enjoy writing it.